A lot of people start their queries with “Dear So and So, I am writing you a query because I saw that you represent YA fiction and… blah blah blah.”
Okay, if you can’t come up with something better than that, maybe you shouldn’t be a writer. I would say do a “I am querying you because…” letter only if you’ve actually met the agent, or are being referred by one of their clients.
For my novel, tentatively entitled In the After, I skipped the intro and went right to the heart of my book. Here is the example of the hook I used:
In the After
Amy has not spoken in three years. Not since They arrived; creatures with incredible hearing, amazing swiftness, and a taste for human flesh. They hunt by sound and Amy has learned to survive in a world of silence.
As you’ll notice, I didn’t state the name of my book in the first paragraph, so I used it as a header. It’s important to get your title in, but you don’t want it to come across as awkward.
More tomorrow on writing a short synopsis.